TRUTH101- OUTDOORSMAN

A friend of mine finally convinced me to go hunting with him. I warned him that I tried hunting 20 or so years ago and sucked at it so I stopped

My friend, John, told me not to worry. He had a great farm a few miles from Quincy that had plenty of animals to shoot. He wanted to go out and get some rabbits and squirrels for some kind of stew. John said I could use one of his guns cause I said I'll get the hunting license but I'm not going through all the red tape to get a FOID card just to shoot at a squirrel. John also said he'd get a case of beer so that made the trip kind of worthwhile.

So we get to the farm and John's brother is already there. I forgot John's brother's name so I called him "Brother" the rest of the day. Anyway, Brother is wearing a camouflage outfit and has his face smeared with some brown stuff. I thought it was overkill considering we were there to kill squirrels and rabbits, but I figured the guy must have spent alot of money on this shit at Walmart so I won't make any wise cracks.

John was unloading the case of beer and the guns we'd be using, a 12 gauge shotgun and a 22 caliber rifle. I was oping he'd let me use the shotgun but he hands me the 22. Not much more than a BB gun. A gun for sissies I thought. I figured Brother must know what he's doing so I ask him if we're going to work as a team to flush out our prey. Brother said "I hunt alone." And gave me dirty look. To break the tension after asking him the offending question, I asked Brother why he was hunter. Brother said "For the meat" as he gave me another cold look. I wanted to ask him if he killed the three Slim Jims in his back pocket but I figured that might piss him off. Instead I told him to go kill something for us to feast on. Brother told me and John to head North and he would head south. I was born in Connecticut. Either say right or left. To save myself another icy stare I waited for Brother to head out so I could just go the opposite direction.


After traipsing around about two hours John and I hear Brother's gun go off and a yell from Brother. I heard the same yell on a fishing lure commercial so I told John
that Brother must have shot a fish.


After another hour John spotted our prey. The elusive rabbit. Not ten feet away. John lifted his 12 gauge and took deadly aim. It's hard to miss from ten feet with a 12 gauge shotgun. John pulled the trigger and the rabbit was ours. What was left of it anyway. John put the few remaining guts and fur in his pouch and we moved on in search of more life sustaining game.

We trekked another hour before seeing something worth shooting. An old "no trespassing" sign hanging from a barb wire fence. I looked at John and he nodded. I set my sights on the "no trespassing sign and readied to squeeze the trigger. Then it hit me. I'm a Nihilist. Not a hunter. I lowered my rifle and gave a nod to the "no trespassing sign. I could sense it nodding back. In the spirit of Black Elk, I laid down my rifle and vowed to hunt no more.