I am both honored and humbled to announce that Chief Nihilist Repsac has sworn me in as the newest official member of American Nihilist.
It is in keeping with this high honor that I would like to relate a story to you about our National Symbol. The Bald Eagle.
I work next to the Mississippi River. From time to time my duties require me to toil outside in the heat and the cold. Of course the boss picks the coldest day of the week to send me outside to do maintenance on some equipment.
While out there I get the honor of seeing five Bald Eagles soaring gracefully through the air. It almost brought a tear to my eye watching this scene and singing along with former Attorney General John Ashcroft. Then I remembered that Nihilist's eyes don't well up at anything that involves John Ashcroft.
Anyway, one of these Eagles is the biggest Eagle I ever saw. It was more like a condor. This bird was a bad mother too. Never flapped it's wings. Just glided overhead watching things.
I know this bad boy is looking at me with contempt. He's gliding around as cool as could be while I'm freezing my ass off even though I'm wearing a hat. Gloves. Long Johns. Coveralls and the Snuggie I borrowed from my better half. He's up there thinking "You jerkoff two legged chump in your long johns and Snuggie. We don't need no stinkin Snuggies."
Then in the blink of an eye this Eagle swoops down about fifty feet away from me. Grabs this baby groundhog by the head and is back in the air before I can say Jesus Christ!
So let this be a warning to the guy at the F.U. Penguin blog. Don't be dissing no Eagles Brother.
It is in keeping with this high honor that I would like to relate a story to you about our National Symbol. The Bald Eagle.
I work next to the Mississippi River. From time to time my duties require me to toil outside in the heat and the cold. Of course the boss picks the coldest day of the week to send me outside to do maintenance on some equipment.
While out there I get the honor of seeing five Bald Eagles soaring gracefully through the air. It almost brought a tear to my eye watching this scene and singing along with former Attorney General John Ashcroft. Then I remembered that Nihilist's eyes don't well up at anything that involves John Ashcroft.
Anyway, one of these Eagles is the biggest Eagle I ever saw. It was more like a condor. This bird was a bad mother too. Never flapped it's wings. Just glided overhead watching things.
I know this bad boy is looking at me with contempt. He's gliding around as cool as could be while I'm freezing my ass off even though I'm wearing a hat. Gloves. Long Johns. Coveralls and the Snuggie I borrowed from my better half. He's up there thinking "You jerkoff two legged chump in your long johns and Snuggie. We don't need no stinkin Snuggies."
Then in the blink of an eye this Eagle swoops down about fifty feet away from me. Grabs this baby groundhog by the head and is back in the air before I can say Jesus Christ!
So let this be a warning to the guy at the F.U. Penguin blog. Don't be dissing no Eagles Brother.
1 comment:
The bald eagle got its name from Olde English. In old English the word "balde" meant white.
Nice story.
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