DIRTY OLD REPUBLICANS SNEAK STEROIDS AND HGH FOR PENIS ENLARGEMENT INTO HEALTH CARE BILL

Those rascally old republican men are at it again. Sensing their inevitable defeat over the health insurance reform, they've taken to their old trick of putting stuff into bills that will benefit their impotent, yet still lusty constituency of old white men.




This time Viagra wasn't enough. Their old male benefactors demand bigger penises. As one lusty old republican said, "If we're going to be screwing America, we might as well do it with a big penis." All the other old white males at the Heritage Foundation agreed with that sentiment. Plus, production of HGH and steroids could be a tremendously profitable industry provided it's all done in China or India according to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.




Sources tell us that Senator Larry Craig did object to this amendment as wasteful. "More than a mouthful is a waste" he was reported to have told his fellow lawmakers.