While watching the latest Harry Potter movie I was reminded of a technique my friend John used during union negotiations and other meetings.
Whenever a bad guy or authority figured addressed Harry Potter they would alway enunciate the "P"s and spit them out. "Harrdy ... Pawtuh." Or "Mistah... Pawttuh."
My friend John was an expert in using spit to disrespect and intimidate his opponent. And he's a big guy with a world class scowl that made him even more intimidating.
My first time witnessing John's mastery of the intimidating spit spray we were in a disciplinary hearing. An employee was told to do something that clearly wasn't his job and he was untrained and unqualified to do. The manager was a freaking idiot who decided to write the guy up and then demand a grievance meeting because he was "going to teach the union a lesson." The shithead in HR even had a guy from Chicago scheduled to meet with us.
I was the senior negotiating committeeman but John decided he would be the lead speaker.
So we're in the room with the manager, HR guy and the dude from Chicago. We get all the crap about management rights and insubordination. John calmly answered by questioning why the supervisor would order an employee that doesn't have a license to drive a 10,000lb. GVW truck to drive a 10,000lb GVW truck.
The HR guy and Chicago dude looked at each other. Then looked at the dumbass manager that ordered a guy with no license to drive the big truck to drive the big truck.
For some reason an asshole is always in charge. And if the guy in charge isn't a big enough asshole they outsource the bigger asshole work to a bigger asshole. This Chicago dude was a big asshole. He banged his fist on the table and shouted something about the help not being qualified to decide who does what. Then loudly said "If your supervisor tells you to pick up something you damn well better pick it up if you want to keep your job!"
John had enough of this asshole. He stood up and stuck his finger about three inches from this asshole's eye and thundered " I ain't pickin up nothin cept a paycheck!" And just like the villains in Harry Potter, John sprayed this asshole with about a quart of spit with each P. Then he backed off a bit. Wiped his chin with his wrist and said "scuse me."
We ended up agreeing to accept a verbal warning for the employee for calling the dumbass supervisor that told him to drive a truck he wasn't qualified to drive a dumbass so while it was technically a loss for John, he said when they all left the room that no way would they want to deal with him again. And for years all we had to do to either get something dropped or reduced was just say that John was working on a grievance. We never saw the asshole from Chicago again either.
16 comments:
Is that you or Kyle McLaughlin?
Thank God this did not happen in South Carolina. We are a "Right to work state" and the employee would have been screwed both ways.
If he had obeyed the order and wrecked the truck he would have been fired. And given the whimsy of his asshole boss had he completed the mission as ordered without issue he could have been fired for driving a truck he was not qualified to operate.
WTF is Kyle McLaughlin?
And while we're at it, wtf is Saul Alinski?
Do I just need to get out more?
I wonder how many miners Massey Mining fired in your neck of the woods for asking for dust masks BB.
Funny thing about assholes. They tend to be quickest on the trigger at recognizing one another.
From a managerial perspective I would love to sit across the table from your crew of negotiators.
1) Spit does not intimidate me, nor does physical size.
2) Ya should have taken it to arbitration. Unless of course you're hiding something. Which, we all know union reps. usually do. Its required first step procedure. Go with the bluff.
3) Or giving the devil it's due, perhaps the union was low on change.
At any rate if your story is true, and you had the strength of evidence, I as the manager never would have let it go to a formal meeting.
I would have provided the supervisor with some additional training. After I gave him a hard swift kick in the ass followed by a notation in his personnel file.
Joe - Although not surprised - I am always amazed by your ablility to get to the heart of matters with your inborn penchant for storytelling to get a point across.
And entertain at the same time.
: )
And did I mention that you come across as intelligent?
You're not an idiot RN. Accepting the verbal for the guy calling the supervisor a dumbass was okayed by me. Sometimes you have to let the other side win something to help them save face. I did get my dig in when I said he probably shouldn't have called the shithead a dumbass.
I never understood how management always felt it had to fight everything no matter how in the wrong they were. I killed dozens of grievance that had no merit. Management would always pursue everything. A verbal was meaningless so in the interests of harmony I settled on verbals quite often. One time the department ditector was so adamant about not losing a grievance he paid three guys a wage differential out of his own pocket rather than concede a grievance.
That one was probably the stupidest meeting I ever attended. Funny story.
He played Ray Manzarek in "The Doors" and was also the detective in "Twin Peaks". He also played Kristin Davis's husband in "Sex and the City" and Marcia Cross's husband in "Desperate Housewives".
Joe - I'd like to join in the assholes and idiots discussion here on your really cool blog - but
I've got to unload the dishwasher before SNL starts.
goodnight joe, Beach Bum, Will,
Rational
you too dudley
Joe, First the verbal you approved really was the proper thing to do. I just can't believe there supervisors as stupid as the dude you are talking about. Guess I missed the "smal print."
A true story...
When I was a young general foreman the manager allowed me to make the decision for management in a grievance proceeding between the company and the Teamsters union.
After hearing the union's arguments I denied the grievance, thus steering to arbitration.
The Teamsters business Rep went straight to the managers office to discuss my decision with the manager.
About 15 minutes later the manager called me into his office and advised me he had reversed my decision. Of course my nose got out of joint and I protested his lack of support for me and what I felt was a justifiable decision.
His response? He said... well Les, I sent a general supervisor into a situation that required a level of maturity as a manager you apparently lack at tis time. I reversed you because the Business Rep. Agreed with 90% of the companies position and the other 10% really wasn't important to us. It was to him.
He said... You're a good general supervisor Les but you're still wet behind the ears. We need to work on that.
What the Business Rep really told the manager I found out later was... "Don't send a kid in to do a man's job."
I've never forgotten that valuable experience and of course the senior manager was right. As was the Business Rep.
The last I knew the Business Rep was consulting for management. Go figure huh?
I'm down on business agents for the Machinists Union Les. I liken them to Wall Street bankers.
They make loads of money and you can't get rid of them.
The best deals are the ones everyone thinks they got something. You have to be careful of what you win though.
My story took place 30 years ago. Different realities back then. More integrity on both sides.
Perhaps if it were not for malevolent management there would be no need for "union thugs".
Right on Dave! Treating employees the way management wants to be treated would eliminate the need for unions, OSHA, the DOL and Obamacare.
Maybe Democrats need to begin spitting their P's.
It's hard to say "republican" without spitting. Or puking.
Too bad I didn't have my discussion with Griper in person. I could have Harry PHAWterred him.
"You would eliminate what Amendments, Mistuh.... GryPPPPuh?"
The last four comments pretty well sums up well OVER 1/2 the problems.
Over and Out!
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